2 months! :)

My little princess is officially 2 months old today! Time flies like crazy. Another 16 more months and she starts school! Haha.

I miss her like hell during work. Its soooooo hard. :'(

I have realised, it takes only a second for an entire life to change. I think life is totally unpredictable and we all should be prepared for anything at all to happen.

And as for you, hang in there darling, it will all be fine soon. And trust me, He does have a reason for all these and you will know it one day. And meanwhile, I am here for you. You can lean onto me. :)

I have gotten almost everything I have ever wanted. And there's just this one thing left. And God, you have to grant it for me. You know my reasons for it, you know who it is for, and you know that its fair. You have to do it for me, you really have to.

Ok I am sooo sleepy.

Before I go off, Happy 2 months to my dearest little rascal!You are a true gift of love and I haven't stopped falling in love with you since day 1. Love you so much baby. :)

Anyway, I was reading this and I thought it's so cute and most of which, is so true. :)

42 things that changes when you have a baby:

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

16. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth."

17. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth."

18. "You now know where the sun comes from."

19. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have."

20. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers."

21. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night."

22. "Silence? What's that?"

23. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having."

24. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had."

25. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule."

26. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one."

27. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog."

28. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late."

29. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury."

30. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger."

31. You find yourself wanting to make this world a better place.

32. If you didn’t believe in love at first sight before, now you do!

33. You start to appreciate Sesame Street for its intellectual contribution.

34. You have to quit watching the news because you see every story from a mother's perspective and it breaks your heart.

35. You just plain love life more - everything comes together and becomes better because of one tiny person and your love for them.

36. You finally find out the real reason you have those breasts.

37. Where you were once afraid, you're now fearless.

38. The support you get from other people surprises you, because the people giving it are not always the ones you'd expect.

39. Nothing is just yours any longer. You share EVERYTHING!

40. No matter what you've accomplished in life, you look at your child and think, "I've done a GREAT job!"

41. You want to take better care of yourself for your child.

42. You can have the most wonderful conversation using only vowel sounds like "ahhh" and "oooo."

:)

I am who I am. Deal with it.

God is so great.

Work is fantastic. A discipline of my interest, great working environment, friendly colleagues, a kind and jovial nurse manager, a very very approachable and understanding preceptor, a very good friend together with me for prcp in the same ward, a day off on wed itself and leave for Christmas and new year granted immediately! I can't possibly ask for more. Haha. :D

And what made it all the more great, was my little one's heartwarming smile when I leave for work and come back from work. :) :) :)

You think I am lucky? I think I am blessed.

So anyways.

There are 2 things I want everyone to know and that is firstly, in whatever you do, there will always be one to encourage and praise, and there will always be one to discourage and doubt. And secondly, in everyone's life, there will always be issues and you just have to deal with them and move on. These are two very important things I told myself before making the decision.

All along, there were people to doubt in every way. And all along, I have been proving each and every one of them wrong. And now, I have reached a point where I don't see the point of explaining anything to anyone. You have doubts about how I am gonna handle the probs that will come up, stick around and watch, cos I am gonna handle them quite well. I don't care if you don't believe in me, I believe in myself and I have reached a point in my life where I know I am capable of accomplishing anything I say I can and will. You can say I am proud, you can say I am being arrogant, it doesn't matter to me, cos it wasn't easy and hey, hell to you but I did it and I am still doing it well and great, and for that, I have all the bloody rights to boast.

And most of all, my faith and trust in Him is too strong for me to lose hope. So ya, don't even think of trying. Nothing you do or say will shake me even a bit.

Getting insurance involves a whole lot of weird and uncomfortable questions. Luckily, my insurance agent is a good friend of mine. Or it would have been so weird giving those private details about my life. Hmm.

I don't like talking about it. I don't feel better. So don't ask.

Its not you. Its me. I am sorry. Get over it and move on.

I welcome advice and suggestions, but if you are thinking of orders and commands, you are approaching the wrong person and you will end up being sorry for it.

My world is rather big, but there isn't any space for you, and I am not sorry for it.

And,

I can't wait, for you to complete our lives. ;)

This Is It.

Back to work tom. PRCP- Pre-Registration Consolidation Placement. For the first 10 weeks, I got what I wanted, at ward, psychiatric discipline(yess, that's what I wanted). But I was quite surprised to find out that for the last 2 weeks, I am being posted to ICU. Like what in the world?? I worked there once before when I was attached to SGH. And I didn't like it. I am gonna try requesting for a change to A&E. Hopefully, it will be granted. In any case, lets just hope it all goes well. Final hill to climb before it officially becomes, Staff Nurse Shamala. *woohoo* :D

I am trying to be very very strong here, but its extremely hard. Its gonna be the longest I am gonna be away from her ever. I am already in tears thinking about it. I hope I don break down at work tom. God, give me the strength pls. :'(

I had an asthma attack yesterday. My first ever. It was so scary. I really thought I was gonna die. And I was out in town alone with her! Goodness! Extreme panic state. :( And ok, I know it worried many. So sweet. I promise to go see the doctor if it happens again. No worries! :)

Ok la, had lots to say but no mood to blog anymore now. I haven't stopped sulking thinking about being away from her tom. *Sobz* :'(

Wrong Moment, Right Song.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

James Blunt- Goodbye My Lover

Hmm.

What a day it was. I feel so tired. Not like I did a lot today, I guess just a lot happened. Hmm.

So yes, I lost my handphone :( And for those who don't know, this is my FIRST TIME losing my phone ever. Yes I have changed my no. many many times before, but it was never because I lost my phone. This is really the first time and it feels like shit. Its not like as if my phone is damn great or what la, actually its quite a lousy cheap phone..But still, you know, esp when u use prepaid... phone gone, contacts gone and number gone. Its so hectic to set it all right again. And it was quite a memorable number actually. Hmph. :(

Oh well, on the other hand, I have been contemplating for very long whether to change my no or not. And this, doesn't give me a choice anymore. So, new number it is. Hopefully, this lasts. (I really wanted the last one to last!Really!)

Did Little One's passport today! Haha. The phototaking part was so hilarious. Now that she can almost see and recognise people, she was keep looking out of the booth at us. Until the lady had to tell us to hide! Haha. So cute.

It was quite an interesting day. Lets see where this goes. God, be with me in this.

A Sweet Little Dream :)

I am still quite a bit too overwhelmed to say much. Haha.

Her naming ceremony. It was nice. Really nice. I am happy. The presents were crazzzzzy. I had 2 garbage bags full of them! Haha. And the somanymany moments that truly touched my heart. The songs, the speech, the people and everything. I am happy. I really am. :)

But oh my my, this one function has made me decide that the next time I have any functions, I am so gonna get an event planner! Soooo much of work! And of cos, there were the hiccups, haha. But cute la :) Nevermind the hiccups! Lets hope the video turns out perfectly well, then she won't know anything. Hehe. ;)

And once again, I am really really touched. I haven't really stopped smiling. :)

So anyways, now that its over, I can finally relax and just laze around at home with my little one till I go back to work. Only one more week left :( I dun think I am gonna go anywhere without her. So, sorry guys, we will have the one-to-one dates someother time. Every min of my time this week is goes to her. :)

I realised, there are, indeed, many people out there who will never change no matter what happens in life, be it major or minor. Extremely disappointing. If there is one area God has tested me the most in my entire life, it will be this, it will be them. And I am still trying. Oh well.

Anyways, I cant wait for the video and the photos to be out! 2 weeks time! :) :)

I love the way you did it. I really do. I am still quite fascinated and speechless. ;)

God is great. He is simply amazing.

A sweet tiny little dream hidden somewhere deep within my heart... :)

D-DAY! :)

Its Friday already! Little One's very first Big Day tom! Oh my my, I cant breathe when I think about it! So exciting! :) :) :)

So once again, everything fell into place very neatly just when I needed it to be. All settled. Lets just hope everything goes perfectly well tomorrow! :)

I didn't promise her anything that is just good, I promised her everything that is perfect. And that's how I want it to be. Perfect.

Its not the first time it happened, but each time He answers each of my prayers in his various amazing ways, it seriously freaks me out. But at least, it lets me know, He is there, He is watching and He answers. Thank You God. :)

Yest, went to get Little One's dress for sat. All the really grand looking ones seemed too big for her and ended up making her seem like some clown. :D So eventually, I decided to get a simple dress, but to accessorize it really nicely so that it stands out. And it actually turned out to be very nice. She will be dressed in white and gold. :) And I think her shoes are the cutest of all. :)

And I also saw a Santa jumpsuit. Oh my goodness, it was so so cute!I am getting that for Christmas for her! And yes, Christmas is cominggggg! YAY! And of cos, following that, the new year, and, the new beginning. :)

Haha..Yes yes, as u can see and tell, I am very happy. :)

Life is never perfect, but it's beautiful when you make e most out of it. :)

"What it was, may not anymore be what it is to you, but what it was, is still what it is for me, and will be, forever."